President Obama Resigns as President; Joe Biden to Assume
Post
http://www.rantlifestyle.com/2014/01/03/president-obama-resigns-president-joe-biden-assume-post/
By Chris Gamble on January 3, 2014
Like a rogue wave, nobody saw this coming. President Obama
has resigned the office of the President of the United States. At a brief press
conference former President Obama announced his recent trip to Hawaii during the holidays made him miss his roots in Hawaii and allowed him
to rediscover his passion for surfing.
“I, uh, just don’t want to be President anymore. Let me be
clear, I think I did a very good job as President but I, uh, got sick and tired
of the daily grind. While on vacation with my family I, uh, rediscovered my
love and passion for, uh, the sport of surfing. I would rather battle the waves
than Republicans, anyway,” the President said.
“Actually, I’m not a politician anymore so I can, uh, tell
the truth finally. This job, uh, for lack of a better word, sucked. No matter
what you do someone is yelling at you, uh, disagreeing with you. Even the, uh,
people who voted for me didn’t like me. I, uh, tried to, uh, do my best but,
uh. Look, I, uh, hired some real, uh, stupid people. These people in my, uh,
administration, uh, screwed up my signature law, the Affordable Care Act and,
uh, couldn’t even build a website.”
“I, uh, just got sick of being surrounded by, uh, people who
didn’t listen. I wanted to, uh, change the way Washington did business but I got, uh,
snookered and fell in line. I couldn’t get anything done. Every time I would,
uh, start to make progress some idiot in my administration would do something
stupid. I just got sick of it all and stopped caring.”
When the former President was asked if he could elaborate on
what kind of stupid things people would do former President Obama didn’t
hesitate. “First of all, they, uh, the Democratic Party saddled me with this,
uh, moron Joe Biden as my Vice President. Seriously folks. The guy, uh, made
all the silly things Dubya said sound like they were, uh, coming from a member
of MENSA. Well, now Biden is your problem America. You elected this, uh,
ticket and now you’re going to have to deal with him. I won’t babysit him
anymore.”
President Obama didn’t stop there. “Then, I got, uh, Bill
Clinton’s husband, I mean wife, who needed a job because she wasn’t doing well
as a Senator. I had to hold onto her political career for, uh, all these years
just because she couldn’t, uh, beat me in a primary. Uh, I’ll tell you this, America, Benghazi…she,
uh, she told me what to say and, uh, she knew all along. Besides, she kept
calling my room at, uh, three o’clock in the morning.”
“Furthermore, and let me be clear, I tried to do my best and
give people, uh, healthcare. I made the, uh, error in judgment by, uh, letting
some members of Congress start, uh, writing other things in it. My, uh, ideas
fit on three cocktail napkins.”
“I, uh, wanted to be a cool President. Look, not everything
was, uh, Bush’s fault. I, uh…being President isn’t easy. The President gets
blamed for, uh, everything. Nobody told me that. So, uh, instead I, uh, will be
hanging out on the beach and surfing. I’ll be starting an account on Instagram
and I, uh, will post selfies whenever I choose and won’t get criticized for
them. Enjoy Joe Biden America. I am going to Hawaii,
America’s
56th state!”
With that the President moved through the crowd, slowly
removing his suit jacket, tie, dress shirt and pants. The stunned media watched
in silence as former President Obama waded through them and ran out into the
ocean to catch a wave.
***This is satire.
President Obama is still the President of the United States to the joy of some
and dismay of Joe Biden and others. No
American really wants Joe Biden as President anyway.***
Best And Worst Fashion 2013: See The Red Carpet Hits And
Misses From Sofia Vergara To Kim Kardashian
http://www.latintimes.com/best-and-worst-fashion-2013-see-red-carpet-hits-and-misses-sofia-vergara-kim-kardashian-141589
By Susmita Baral |
BEST: Selena Gomez
Latina Selena Gomez attended the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards
at the Barclays Center
on August 25, 2013 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City wearing a deep blue Atelier
Versace gown paired with Lorraine Schwartz earrings. Getty
2013 was a landmark year for fashion, as celebrities stepped
up their sartorial game at award shows and functions. Some celebrities were
on-trend with some of the most cutting edge looks, while others kept their
looks classic and timeless (we're talking to you, Kate Middleton). Here at
Latin Times, we've compiled our favorite (and least favorite) looks for the
2013 calendar year.
And while we've picked our favorites, it's important to note
that fashion is subjective and a personal choice and we're on board with any
look any actress sports if they feel confident in what they wear! For this
reason, we've only selected one 'Worst Dressed' celebrity for 2013 and it's
simply based on two things: How the dress looks and what we think the Worst
Dressed Celebrity is capable of.
Who Will Win World Cup 2014? Top 10 Teams Capable Of Winning
FIFA Tournament In Brazil
http://www.latintimes.com/who-will-win-world-cup-2014-top-10-teams-capable-winning-fifa-tournament-brazil-135744
By Peter J. Mulroy |
The 2014 World Cup is only seven months away and with the
qualifying playoffs recently concluding, fans around the world now know which
32 teams will be representing their respective nations for what promises to be
another exciting event. With teams like the United States, Honduras, Japan and
Brazil all locking up their tournament berths weeks ago, fans have had the time
to see what some of the other teams around the globe looked like. Thanks to
some strong performances in clutch time, many countries watched as their
beloved national teams advanced while others were left to wonder what could
have been.
Mexico,
thanks to a dominant performance over New Zealand,
will head to their sixth-straight World Cup while talented squads in Uruguay and Portugal advanced as well.
Cristiano Ronaldo willed his Portuguese side to a hard fought two-legged
victory over Sweden while
Edinson Cavani and Luis Suarez paced Uruguay
to a convincing 5-0 aggregate win over Jordan. While many of these clubs
are expected to find continued success, they may not be strong enough to make a
push for a World Cup title since advancing out of the group stages and round of
16 could be extremely tough depending on the draw. Others however, possess the
ability to play with anyone at any time, making them significant threats from
start to finish.
With that being said, here's a look at 10 teams that could
make their way through the very competitive World Cup field.
Eiza González, más delgada ¿y sensual? que nunca
http://www.tvnotas.com.mx/2014/01/03/C-57723-fotos-eiza-gonzalez-mas-delgada-y-sensual-que-nunca.php
Tal parece que la joven actriz Eiza González no ha dejado la
polémica que la persiguió por gran parte del 2013, debido a que hace un par de
días te dimos a conocer que recibió el año nuevo en las playas de Acapulco y al
lado de su ex pareja sentimental, Pepe Díaz, después de una tormentosa, larga y
enredada relación.
Ahora, la
también cantante publicó fotografías en su cuenta de Instagram, en las que
aparece muy relajada durante su estancia en el paradisiaco puerto. Además,
en las sensuales imágenes presume su cuerpo en bikini y luciendo aún más
delgada que antes.
Hasta el momento, ni Eiza ni Pepe han dado declaración
alguna sobre una nueva oportunidad en su noviazgo, por lo que sólo resta
esperar para conocer si la famosa pareja reanudará la relación o quedaron como muy buenos amigos.
Recordemos que la intérprete mexicana fue captada hace unos
meses besando al actor australiano Liam Hemsworth, lo que provocó gran
controversia entre sus seguidores y medios de comunicación.
La 1a.
comunión del hijo de Erika Buenfil
http://www.tvnotas.com.mx/galerias-famosos/354-la-1a-comunion-del-hijo-de-erika-buenfil/